For the Eagles, training camp continues and the calendar remains unchanged. The first preseason game will arrive as scheduled on Thursday. The regular season will open for business in September. The lights will come on as usual.
But it isn?t the same now for Andy Reid. It can?t be, not after the loss of his son Garrett. It is impossible to imagine the pain he must be feeling. How does a father cope with the death of his child? How does he begin putting his life back together?
All the good feeling that surrounded the Eagles camp, all the optimism and hope for the 2012 season is now stilled. And what we have seen of the new Andy Reid ? more open, more human ? only makes it more poignant. He seemed happier this summer, healthier and more energized, eager for the challenge of a new season.
But now?what?
The troubles of his sons Garrett and Britt are well documented. They went through a terrible time which included drug addiction and prison, but they appeared to be doing much better. Britt is on the football staff at Temple and Garrett was with his father at Eagles camp. Everything seemed fine until Sunday?s tragic discovery.
Regardless of what you may think of Andy Reid as a coach, you have to feel enormous sympathy for what he and wife Tammy are going through. The news of their son?s death brought back memories of the November 2007, press conference in which a tight-lipped Reid addressed the sentencing of the two boys in Montgomery County Court.
?This has been a battle that we?ve dealt with here for a few years,? Reid said that day. ?Our prayers are obviously with the boys, for their future and to make sure things work out where they can live a normal life down the road.?
The pain was palpable in his face and voice. Now comes this, the worst pain of all.
According to Jeff Lurie, Reid intends to continue coaching. He is expected back on the sidelines this week. He is doing what his good friend Tony Dungy did after his teenage son James died in 2005. Dungy said it was returning to football that enabled him to heal.
In his book ?Quiet Strength,? Dungy wrote:
?The next decision for me was when I should return to Indianapolis and go back to work. Jim Irsay (owner) and Bill Polian (general manager) both told me to feel free to take the rest of the season off. They wanted me to make sure that Lauren (his wife) and the kids would be okay. Lauren and I?talked it over and we decided I should go back to work.
?As painful as it was, we needed to move forward. Getting back into our routine was important. Lauren knew me well. Work would help take my mind off my own pain?The Colts were surviving without me. Jim Caldwell had been running the team in my absence. They didn?t need me, but I needed them.
?I returned to work that Thursday. Jim Caldwell called a team meeting to announce that he was handing the reins back to me. Emotions ran high. The guys were extremely warm and welcoming and I was overwhelmed by their love and support. As a group, we had always leaned on each other in difficult times. I needed them now more than ever.?
In his book, Dungy details his life on and off the field and how it shaped his values. It is a book about football, but it is also a book about faith and how a man?s faith is tested. For Dungy, the greatest test was the death of his son. In the book he described what the Reids must be feeling and will continue to feel.
?People sometimes ask if I went through a typical grief cycle and what I learned from having gone through it,? Dungy wrote. ?I learned two primary things from our experience and from talking to countless other parents. First, there is no TYPICAL grief cycle and, second, it is not something I WENT through. I?m still grieving as is Lauren. I don?t know that I?ll ever look at this in the past tense as something I?ve emerged from.?
It is a tough life, coaching. It is particularly tough in the NFL where coaches are known to sleep in their offices and not go home for days at a time. Reid refers to himself as a grinder which means he will put another reel of film on the projector when another coach might be hitting the off switch. It is part of the reason he made it to the NFL but on a day like this it does little to ease the pain.
In 2000, Reid allowed the NFL Films cameras to follow him around for a week while he prepared for a game against the Giants. I was the producer assigned to the show so I spent long hours hanging in Reid?s office and walking the darkened halls of Veterans Stadium.
One night over dinner, Reid started talking about going to see Garrett play football that Saturday. His son was the starting center for Harriton High School and they were playing their first game. The Eagles were scheduled to have a morning practice that day but Reid said it would not keep him from making it to Garrett?s game in time for kickoff.
I asked if it would be OK for our film crew to follow him.
?If you can keep up with me,? he said laughing. ?I?m gonna be driving fast, man.?
Reid made it to the game with time to spare and was greeted with a standing ovation as he climbed the bleacher steps. The Eagles had upset Dallas the previous week, 41-14, so the coach was a popular guy. Other parents came over to talk and shake his hand, but he was more interested in watching Garrett play.
When the game ended, Garrett came to the fence where his parents were standing. Andy gave Garrett a hug and said, ?Nice job, G.? He was just like any other father hugging his son after a high school football game.
I?ve always remembered that moment because it was so warm and genuine.
And it has never seemed sadder than now.
E-mail Ray Didinger at viewfromthehall@comcast.net
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